53 YEARS OF MARRIAGE...IS IT A THING OF THE PAST?

He was a big man on campus...a tall, handsome north Louisiana Baptist, studying Agriculture at  Louisiana State University in the late '30s and early '40s.  She was a beautiful but very shy south Louisiana Catholic, studying Home Economics at the same university, during the same time period. The stories each would recount of their first meeting were vastly different! 

My dad, Doyle Chambers, was one of the few guys on campus at the time who had a car, and that made him the perfect double-date candidate for those who didn't have wheels.  My dad's friend (I'll call him Joe) decided that my dad needed to get a date so they could 'double' and dad would drive.  Doyle agreed, as long as he got a date with 'that girl over there', who was friends with Joe's girlfriend.  Doyle had had his eyes on her for the longest time, and knew that she would be the woman for him.  He was instantly smitten!

My mom, Luella  Dugas, was so shy and unsure of herself, that when Joe's girlfriend tried to fix her up with Doyle, she said, "I'm sure it's not ME that he wants to go out with.  I bet he wanted to take my roommate out."  But no, Doyle knew who he wanted to date, and it was Luella.  My mother would later tell me, "Within 5 minutes on our first date, I KNEW that this was one guy I would NEVER go out with again.  He was a north Louisiana Baptist (she was a south Louisiana Catholic...her mom would have NEVER permitted that match!!!!!), he smoked, and he drank.  That was it...he was not a candidate for her affections...

They were married on January 30, 1943, and were together until Luella's death on May 26, 1996.  They survived the hard WWII years; brought 3 children into the world; weathered childhood polio scares and inflamed tonsils and Oklahoma tornadoes and Louisiana hurricanes.  Each battled cancer several times over the years, and even painfully witnessed two of their own children have their own cancer journeys.  Life was certainly not a bed of roses...but there was never a doubt that they would get through every twist and turn,  TOGETHER. 

My Dad passed away in September 2005.  This Friday I will celebrate what would have been their 72nd wedding anniversary.  A remarkable feat!  Never a bed of roses, but a journey they walked TOGETHER.  For a lifetime.  Please watch the song I wrote to celebrate their love.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTFZTMMinsI&list=UUuAONW1409a_dSl9bFX6L4g 

I'm curious.  Do you think that 53 years of marriage is a thing of the past?  I don't.  Instead of letting hardship destroy them, it brought them closer together.  That's the key, I believe.  They truly married for a lifetime.  As always, thank you for reading...

until next blog post, peace and love to you

dorothy

Music Therapy at its finest...i.e., Willie Nelson's voice soothed my momma, when morphine failed her.

My mom's name was Luella Dugas Chambers.  She developed breast cancer in the late 1970s, back when a radical mastectomy and radiation were standard of care.  She had 13 cancer-free years before the cancer returned, with a vengeance.  Before all was said and done, she had cancer in her bones and lungs, and had withstood 6 years of pharmaceutical and intravenous chemotherapies...and spent many, many days in excruciating pain.  She died in 1996.  

My dad was her primary caregiver.  He did a magnificent job, preparing her meals and cleaning house and getting her to the doctor and just being there.  They were married for 53 years before she died.  

I would go to the house every day from 9:00am until noon to sit with my mom, and give my dad a much-needed break.  Sometimes he worked in his garden.  Sometimes he ran errands.  Sometimes he sat and played solitaire.  All the while, he allowed me a chance to spend quality time with my mom, my best friend and my hero.  

I never dreamt that I would find myself putting a drop of morphine on my momma's tongue at 9:00am and trying to entertain her until she could have more, in 3 hours.  That morphine did NOTHING for my momma.  It broke my heart!  By 9:10am, she would ask me if it was time for more medicine.  After the first couple of days, I was determined to find some way to alleviate some of the pain that accompanied her bone cancer!  Enter Willie Nelson (her favorite country singer) and two of his pop standards albums, Stardust and Moonlight Becomes You. 

I don't know what we would have done without Willie.  In truth, as soon as the music started, she smiled and sang and told me stories of: dances and moonlight walks; how she and my dad met; how during WWII she was appointed football coach at the high school where she taught, because the coach had been called to serve our country; and so many, many more!  The stories FLOWED as Willie sang those songs of her youth.

Those times I spent with my mom and Willie were nothing short of life-changing, for me and for my mom.  After my mom passed away, and I successfully waged my own war against breast cancer, I found myself working as a musician in the Baton Rouge, LA area. I  ultimately began working as a music therapy facilitator, for children with speech and learning delays, and for Alzheimer's patients.  What a beautiful gift to offer to people who are struggling...MUSIC! 


I wrote the song Momma 'n Willie 'n Me to commemorate the power of MUSIC THERAPY!  The morphine did not alleviate any of my mom's pain, but Willie did.  I would be honored to have you watch the video, listen to the lyrics, and spread the word about the magical power of music!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wozfnh3agKU

Thank you, as always, for reading and for listening, and for passing this on, if the information might benefit someone you know who is struggling.  

Until next blog post, peace and love to you.

dorothy