I'm no stranger to depression, and the apple did not fall far from the tree. While both sons battle depression, my youngest son has fallen victim to depression, anxiety, and obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) as an internal manifestation of Tourette's Syndrome. Yes, he takes medicines that do help, and there are alternative therapies, but at some point, you have to accept your reality and strive for the most effective way to live inside this body that you inhabit. Reading is one of his escape routes, and a book in the clearance section of a favorite store led us both on a life-altering excursion!
Let me back-pedal a bit...I've raised my kids in the Christian tradition. I taught them prayers that I was taught as a child, including one en Francais. We attended church regularly, including religion classes that were age-appropriate. That said, depression, anxiety and OCD tend to muddy the waters. How do you give your burdens to a loving God when your mind is constantly whirling in a million directions, second-guessing, questioning? My life-long struggle, passed on to both of my sons...
Now, back to the book my son was reading...a travel book featuring off-the-beaten-path destinations in Louisiana. One day trip caught his eye and spoke loudly to him. He asked me to accompany him to the Tree of Soles in Ossun, LA (right outside of Lafayette), to lay his burdens down. In a poignant gesture of faith, you bring shoes you've worn during a particularly burdensome point in your life and lay them at the base of the tree, or hang them from the tree. At that point, you're asked to pray for peace.
I will always remember how I felt, driving down this gravel road, when I finally spotted the 3 trees from the book. I've had many spiritual experiences in my 56 years, but this was special. We stopped the car, and my son picked up his black shoes he'd been wearing during a difficult year in his life, opened his door and slowly and methodically walked toward the middle tree, reading the sign welcoming him to the Tree of Soles. I had brought shoes as well and joined him. A million thoughts came to mind as I spotted baby shoes, cowboy boots, lady's pumps, tennis shoes...each telling a painful tale of struggle and an accompanying need for peace.
We spoke no words. I tearfully pondered the moments in life that had brought us both there. Time stood still. Slowly, my son found the perfect spot near the base of the middle tree for his shoes. I followed suit. Eventually we walked back to the car. Still no words. Just a quiet knowledge that we had, in truth, physically laid our burdens down. What a powerful experience to share with my grown son as we both tried to faithfully lighten our loads.
I knew at that point that I needed to spread the word about the Tree of Soles. A couple of months later, I asked my producer and videographer Daniel Lee to go with me to the tree and shoot some video. (I had another burden to lay down as well.) Turns out that many songs have flown through me, all because of the sleepy Cajun town and those 3 trees at the end of a gravel road. I'd be so honored for you to watch. I hope it moves you like it still moves me, whenever I watch it. Here's the link:
My prayer for you would be that each of you find your "tree of soles"...and that your burdens would be lightened.
As always, until next blog entry, peace and love to you.
dorothy
